What to do when someone you live with steals from you (A PSA)

It's time to argue with myself!

After posting yesterday's blog about pawn shops and people's property I was reminded about another side of the issue I didn't consider (this time). And that is the responsibility of the victim to hold the proper party accountable for wrongdoing. This time I was an objective third party but at other times I have been the pawn man in question being blamed and dumped on.

I wrote this piece last fall after being chewed out by a guy who confronted me because he suspected his roommate/girlfriend/I don't want to know exactly what had taken his digital camera and pawned it. He didn't want to make a police report he just wanted the camera and was angry. Of course it is my obligation to assume a pawned item belongs to the ticket holder unless the ownership is disputed. In our society this disputing takes place in a courtroom. I can't say "Oh it's yours? Sure here you go" because I don't and shouldn't have the legal authority to decide who it belongs to. That's why we have cops and lawyers.

Anyhow, this is not directed to trampsmom so please don't be offended...but I figured it might be a good time to repost it and review what I wrote about the subject at a different time.

A Public Service Announcement

Let's say someone you live with takes something that belongs to you. You discover this because the item is missing or you see a pawn ticket or maybe they even flat out tell you about it. This person may be a relative such as your parent or son or daughter. Or they may fall some gray area of friend/family or part-time boyfriend/girlfriend. Whatever.

So this person took something that belongs to you and brought it to me, your friendly neighborhood pawnbroker. I gave them cash for it. You have discovered it and you come into my shop to see about it.

My friend, there are two ways that this can go and only two ways. You will have to choose.

Method A: You make a police report because you are a victim of theft. The authorities will identify your property and authorize me to release it to you. You can pay me to get it back now or wait for the courts to award it to you when the case goes to trial.

Method B: You don't want to involve the authorities! You love the thief too much. Please change your name to doormat. Because you won't make a police report it is not a theft, it's a civil matter between you and your, ahem, loved one. Confront them about it and ask them nicely and maybe they will assist you in getting it back.

If I know you, though, you'll want to choose C.

Method C: Chew out the pawnbroker. Refuse to listen to reason and keep saying things like "but it's mine."

My friend, I know it's hard to believe but this is not my problem or my business. Nothing illegal or improper occurred when your property crossed my desk. It occurred when your housemate took something of yours and brought it out of your house with the intention of exchanging it for money. That's where you need to start.

I understand that the thief may need money to feed their children, or feed their drug habit, or maybe they had a really messed up childhood. I get that. But you can't have it both ways, you've got to make a choice. If you want to LET them steal from you then that's fine. Deal with it from within the confines of your relationship, then. Drag them down here by the ear (the walk of shame) and make them get it out of pawn.

The law does not split hairs. Either the item(s) were theirs to rightfully pawn or they were not.

Me, I'm here just trying to make ends meet to feed my own family. The bad choices made are not my business. Please don't try to make it so.